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TERMINATION |
| Sadly we had to undergo our fourth termination in July of this year as our baby was diagnosed with SMARD from a CVS test. I am finding it difficult to accept another bad result. We lost our daughter Jessica to SMARD in July 2000. We are fortunate to have a healthy son Thomas who was born in January 2002. Unfortunately since 2004 four pregnancies have all ended in terminations as we were advised that the babies had inherited both SMARD mutations. This has been heartbreaking each time to give up a baby we wanted so much. I would now like to try again for another baby but terrified that we will get a bad result. I keep trying to tell myself that we shouldn't try again but I fear that I will live the rest of my life feeling sad an empty as we always wanted to be a family of four. Has anyone else gone through a similar experience that would be able to give some advice on how to move forward. |
| Posted: Sun Nov 4, 2007 9:10 pm |
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Re: TERMINATION |
Hi Lindsey.
Not again? I'm really sad to read your post and to hear of the incredibly rough journey you've been through since 2004. The wait for a CVS result is unbearable in itself but to have undergone that and had bad results four times in a row is unbelievable.
It's difficult to know what to say but I don't want to say nothing... How many times can you throw two coins in the air and land two tails?
Since losing our daughter Alisha in 2001 we've been lucky enough to have two healthy girls; we had two unsuccessful pregnancies at the start. I don't know what we would have decided if we had had 3 or 4.
I'd love to tell you how long your journey is and if you can reach your goal, but you know I can't.
If you do decide to try again then know that everyone reading this will be rooting for you, in the same way that you have supported others in this forum in similar situations.
Hang on in there and know that whatever decision you make, it's the right one for you at the time and don't regret it.
I just wish you all the best & that I could be more helpful. |
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Re: TERMINATION |
| im really sorry our forth child was diagnosed withn sma 1 in june and he only lived 10 days and shortly after we also fell pregnant and that baby had the sma gene but we miscarried.in a way i now how you feel and how much you are hurting but you do have a healthy son as i have three healthy children and im thankful for that every day.i think that if your positiveoyu will one day go on to have another healthy baby and you will have the family of four that you have always wanted. give thomas all the love in the world and enjoy every minute that you get with him as i do mine. all my love and wishes go out to you both.leanne |
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Re: TERMINATION |
Dear Linsday,
How are you now?
I read your post about termination and I sympathise with you. I have been trying to write a letter to support you, only today I can put it together.
What you feel about it is perfectly natural, off course any mother wants to protects her baby. And in some ways babies in the womb wants to tell their mothers 'hello, I am here with you' too, so no wonder the mothers would feel bond. Even if someone tells them "hey it's not your baby", mothers know better.
As how to move forward, you said you want to be a family of four. What man and woman wants most when they decide to start family is a loving family. If you look at the pages that members has posted here, you can see no evidence that the SMA gene affect these baby's ability to respond to their parents love. May be you have experience it yourself with Jessica. You don't have to make any decission (it's such a heavy decision for a human to make - far too heavy), just be open, let God decides whether you'll stay as a family of three, or He will give you another baby, and let Him decides whether how long the baby will stay with you, how many months in your womb or how many months or even years outside...
We don't even know how long our own ages would be aren't we?
Still, we can live and love our today.
And as for struggles mothers wants to protects their babies from, just remember any new baby will find the world is something new, they just need someone to be with them.
I am joining Leanne in sending you my best wishes to you and your husband..
and your little boy.
Lyd |
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Re: TERMINATION |
Dear Lindsey and family
So sorry to hear of your news. We lost our beautiful baby Jessica in 1997 type 1 and we went on to have 2 healthy boys - Ryan and Joseph. I longed for another baby girl and went on to have 3 miscarriages - the 3rd one I decided to managed at home rather than in hospital (I don't recommend this as I needed a blood transfusion in A & E). I thought by this time nature was trying to tell me something as I was 42. Well in May of last year my prayers were answered and Rebecca was born 10 years to the month that Jessica was born, she looks just like her big sister in heaven and is a darling. Being a christian I know that the Lord wants to give you the desires of your heart, and he knows of your desire and I pray you are given another precious child. I hope you will soon feel strong enough to try again and try to put the difficult past behind you. All my love from Marie. xx |
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